The Anonymous Adoption Reflection

by Anonymous

     I am adopted. Oddly, I’ve never liked that phrase. It has no reflection on my feelings and thoughts on adoption however, I am forever grateful for it. I was born in December and my parents finally received me in February so all I know, feel and all I remember is them. As long as I remember I knew I was adopted because my mom managed to tell me in the best way I can imagine. She would tell me stories before I went to bed, took naps, and sometimes just as I would wake up. I used to love hearing the adoption story of how my parents got our cat. She would then share how I was also adopted. I always understood and felt how much my parents wanted me and honestly I really didn’t know any different. I didn’t and still don’t “feel” adopted. I share my parents traits, mannerisms, views, and we could say I somewhat do look like a combination of them. My parents are truly my people.

     Growing up and even now I don’t discuss this with people. The only people that know are my family and obviously doctors. I don’t think it is anyone’s business and it would hurt to think if anyone found out and doesn’t understand adoption would now view my parents as “adoptive” parents instead of my parents, if that makes sense. I feel like the term “adoptive parents” draws a line sometimes to point out that you are adopted. We never used those terms in my house, my parents are my parents and that will never change in my physical world or heart.

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     Recently I had a DNA test done and learned more about my hereditary background and it did bring up some DNA family and other things that I’m still processing a little bit. I love the hereditary part but other than that I really am not interested in meeting my biological family. Not in a negative way, but more of a way where I can’t be bothered because I don’t feel adopted. I love the life I was given and my parents have given me the best life they possible could. They are the best people in the whole world.

     I know a little of my biological mother and I do not hold any resentment towards her whatsoever. I’m actually eternally grateful to her for making the choice that she did to allow my forever family to find me because I was given an amazing life with opportunities, financial security, and a love so strong and deep that again, I don’t feel adopted at all. I love my family and they are my people. While I mentioned that I am not interested in meeting my biological family, I can’t help but be slightly curious to see a picture of my biological mother, but that’s more for physical reasons. It’d just be interesting. I do strongly believe though that there was a good reason that she knew better than to parent me and if she was compelled enough for me to have a better life, I do not want to look backwards to bring my biological family into my life. I’m protective of it.

     As I am beginning to think about a family I would like to start I have been considering adoption. I feel completely comfortable with it and just feel like it is right. Most unfortunately, I do not like how expensive it but it is what it is and I believe that a child is priceless. There is also the possibility I may still have one biologically of my own, but strangely it feels more natural for me to adopt. I pray that all children have the opportunity I had to live a life where they do not feel adopted and that they are loved unconditionally with so many great opportunities available to them.

     My silence and privacy with me being adopted again, is not a reflection of how I feel about it. I suppose I just don’t trust the ignorance of others and I’m not a deeply open person anyway. I do love adoption though, I love that I’m adopted into a wonderful world and I hope that one day I can either provide that for a child, or support friends that do.