Perspectives of Adoption: What is an Adoption Doula?

Originally posted here as “An Open Letter To My Potential Clients.” 



     You don't need me to have an amazing adoption story. But you should want me anyway. Not because I can do things you can’t or couldn’t do without my help but because I will be yourpersonwhile you are on this wild adoption journey that has, at times, the highest highs and the lowest lows you can imagine. You should hire me to walk alongside you during your adoption because I have been in your shoes, I will make the to-do lists for you, and help you check the box for each task one by one until they are completed and you have a child in your arms.

    You don’t need me at all — you are strong, powerful, capable, smart, and resourceful. You already know that though. If you weren’t you likely wouldn’t be here reading this letter. You don’t need to me do anything at all but you might want me to because it makes you feel a little more grounded. I created this business out of a passion and love for adoption stories that runs right down to my very core. Adoption is my life and I owe my happiness, smiles, and giggles every day to my son and his adoption.

    My son Isaac chose me and the universe brought us together. It just hit me one day that I needed to adopt — that it was what I was meant to do. So after shaking my fist at the sky for a few days and asking WHY and HOW I was supposed to adopt as a single twenty-eight-year-old teacher, I found myself asking for signs that it really was what I was supposed to do. And so I got signs. Lots of them. I’d ask, and it would come. I’d ask again, you know, just to test it, and another would come. After a half dozen times of asking for a sign and getting it, I decided I better listen.

    So I researched just like you like are now. I researched a LOT. I googled everything I could think of. I looked up agencies, foster care, adoption fundraising, homestudy resources... The list goes on. There are an endless number of resources and ways to approach adoption. I took the path of least resistance that made the most sense for me and what I wanted. I picked my path and I plowed my way down it… and it paid off. After checking off box after box on my homestudy checklist and submitting it, sitting through meetings and meetings, I met my son… and it was like we were always meant to be. The impact of such a tremendous undertaking became a sometimes sobering reality (this baby is really mine? I am in charge?), but the love arrived when we locked eyes. I had no idea how but I knew I would make his life as fantastic as I possibly could. What I didn’t know was that he would do the exact same thing for me…

    And so, the point of this letter to let you know that I am going to help you and I am going to make sure your adoption dreams come true. Not because you can’t do it on your own but because everything feels better with a partner. Work smarter, not harder, right?

    It may take a little time but together we will do it. I will be the person who is there when you are doubting the journey who won’t let you give up. I’ll be the person you cry to when someone asks you a stupid (and rude) question about your adoption (because they totally will), and I will be the person you text at 2:46am when your new baby won’t stop crying and you think you might lose your mind. I will be there not because I am superwoman or even because I can solve all the problems — I will be there because I love adoption, because I have been there myself, because I love being your shoulder to lean on, and because I have a passion for helping make your dreams come true.

Let’s get started, shall we?