Our Adoption Story
By Jessica Hanaghan
We lived in California at the time, so we went with a private adoption agency which was open. We completed our homestudy and did our adoption book. Our agency has the birth moms choose 7 families to receive packets on. Of the 7 packets, they then pick three to interview and to rate them by preference. We ended up talking for about 45 mins of the phone and about an hour later, we received a call back that she had selected us and decided not to interview the other families.
Traditionally you are matched closer to 7-8 months gestation or you get a hospital call, but our situation was a little different. Our birth mom was a young 20 year old and living at home. Her parents told her that if she kept the baby she was going to be kicked out. We were matched when she was 3 months pregnant. We were able to go with her to find out the sex of the baby; It was a girl. We then were able to accompany her to her 22-week exam as well to check all her organs, etc.
As we approached the end, we also went for a 3/4D ultrasound. Upon that appointment, we found out that there was a potential second father in the picture and that the assumed birth father may not indeed be the father.
Our birthmother was not honest with the number of partners she had. Her current boyfriend could indeed be the father of the baby and we were concerned that since they were together, she was going to change her mind. She assured us she wouldn’t. The night before our daughter was born, the current boyfriend told us that he was going to be proposing to her the next day after the baby was born. We didn’t know what to think. The next day, our daughter was born and indeed looked exactly like the boyfriend. We spent the whole day together all of us. The next day, the baby was discharged to come home with us.
Charlotte was born on a Friday and our birth mom didn’t relinquish until Tuesday Afternoon, so it was a stressful time to say the least. About a week later, we get a call from the birth mom that she would like to do a DNA test. We obliged and we come to find out that the now fiancé is not the father. It was her ex-boyfriend as originally thought.
He knew that she was pregnant but didn’t know she was going to put the baby up for adoption. He was abusive, and they were worried for her safety and the safety of the baby. The adoption agency contacted him after the baby was born to have him sign off, but he was no where to be found. After months of looking for him and serving him 5 times, he was terminated via the courts after a mandatory 60-day appeal period,
When our daughter was about 4 months old, we met up with our birth mom for lunch so she could see the baby and thank us for raising her. It was beautiful. We kept in touch via text with pics and videos.
A few months later, our birth mom called us to tell us she was pregnant again and was going to keep the baby. She didn’t want us to think badly of her or to think that she was trying to replace our daughter Charlotte. We of course supported her and let her know that was not the case.
We then moved to a different state and have started the adoption process again for baby #2. We let our birth mom know we were adopting again and she was super happy for us. We keep in touch still via text with no plans to meet up again, but do keep in touch.
Our daughter who is 2 knows she is adopted. We show her pictures of her birth mom and we also have a letter to give to our daughter when she is age appropriate.
Although there were times, that we didn’t know what was going to happen, we knew we would end up with the baby we were supposed to have and that is our daughter. Couldn’t be happier.