by Jonathan and Tasha
We are Husband and Wife, Jonathan and Tasha we feel incredibly under qualified to be writing about perspectives on adoption. We have not adopted, neither of us have been adopted or have had adoption in our immediate families (however some of Jonathan’s extended family has been touched by adoption). Nor have either of us put a child up for adoption. So why should we have a perspective that is worth your time? We ask ourselves this question too. So I suppose the best is to just write to you, about “us” and why adoption has in-fact changed the trajectory of our little family.
We wish we could say adoption was our first choice in growing our family. It’s not that it was an option we hadn’t considered, or that we were ever reluctant. We truly feel that even if a biological child would have been a choice for us that we would have chosen adoption in the future regardless of bio kids or not. However, life lead us to adoption when we realized that we would not be able to safely carry a pregnancy due to Tasha’s health.
Tasha here, I was diagnosed with Sticklers Syndrome, which is a hyper-mobile, genetic condition that effects my connective tissues and collagen. A pregnancy for myself could mean that I would not be able to walk again. Think about the amount of moving and changing that occurs with babies grow. My body would likely not be able to heal a separated pelvic bone, extra weight on my joints and back could cause long term damage and hormones could cause a whole list of problems that may not be reversible. I would likely also need to be on bedrest for the 9 month duration of pregnancy. Not able to keep up heart and lung health. With little to no idea on what could happen with a pregnancy we quickly and tearfully understood that this was just not an option. I wish to be the healthiest Mum I can be and to love our littles with as much of a full abled body as possible.
So there are a few reasons why we have chosen adoption. We considered other options such as surrogacy but for a quick moment. Neither of us have had peace with that idea ever. We both agreed on adoption in an instant, in a heartbeat it felt right. In an instant without communication we knew adoption was for us. More on our story below!
We understand that we have chosen a harder path, but fully wholly believe that the view at the end of this road will be more beautiful than we could imagine. Heart ache and all. We are not naive to the hurt that accompanies every adoption. Our hearts and minds are full of passion for ethical adoptions and adoption advocacy.
We may not have a fully formed perspective on much regarding adoption; where we stand today, but we have so much love pushing our souls forward. We want to understand as best we can. We want to educate those we love around these topics as we learn. We are on the brink of this grand beautiful thing we call adoption. We feel privileged to be in a position to love a “little” for their life, teaching, guiding and holding them into adulthood and beyond.
The scariest thing we have chosen thus far is to share our story as it unfolds. If our process can help educate, inspire, encourage or highlight someone with their own interaction with adoption, it is all worth being vulnerable here on the big scary internet.
Our friends who you can find over on instagram @this.reinhardt.life wrote this recently and it resonates so deeply in our hearts.
“I urge you to think about adoption. Not specifically adopting a child. Support a family adopting through prayer, through thoughts, through sharing their story, through giving financially if you are able.”
What resonates here is that you don’t have to be involved arms deep in adoption to have a perspective on and to learn to understand and support someone in your community. Ask gentle loving questions and accept simple answers. Be willing to learn something you know nothing about. Reach out of your comfort and embrace family.
We do not take light the commission it is to parent. We actively choose to walk this path set out before us. We choose the hard path for a better view. Our perspective is that adoption gives options to all. Wanting Mums, Dads, Children and Birth Families alike. Even though tears and despair are unavoidable, there is first above all, hope and love.