I wrote the following letter to Isaac on the very first day that I met him... what an amazing amount of emotions that were running through me on this day. I did't know whether to laugh, cry, or just curl up into a ball in disbelief. Being the writer I am, I chose to write. To get it all my thoughts down in one space because one day, I know I will want to share it with him.
Dear Baby Isaac,
I met you for the first time today, baby boy. I can’t even believe how lucky I am that I will get to call you my son soon. Your new family is over the moon excited about you. We all still can’t believe how fast this has all happened! Today is Sunday April 27. You were born to a very scared and ultimately very brave girl, your birthmother. She didn’t know she was pregnant until it was time to have you. I’m sorry she didn’t talk you to more while you were growing but please know that she did the best thing for you she could think of to make your life better — she was courageous enough to let you be adopted — loved — by another family — by me. I love you so much already, Isaac Maxwell. I can’t even believe you’re real.
You have to stay with a kind lady from the adoption agency for the next 30 days just in case your birth mother changes her mind. I am praying for her; praying that she sticks with her plan. Praying that she has peace of mind. Praying for her courage to hold out and to let me be family because I am already in love. You did not grow in my belly but I can wait to make you mine. Though really, I think you always were.
Hope you are sleeping well, sweet boy. I am sad to miss your first 30 days but I promise to use this time wisely; to prepare all the things you will need and to think up all sorts of fun things we can do together.
All my love,
The time in interim care isn't required by all states or agencies but it is commonplace in adoption. I was required by my agency to have him there for the waiting period that birth families have to change their minds with no questions asked. For us, in Maryland, this meant 30 days. I don't think I have ever held my breath more or for as long as I did during those 30 days.
Nevertheless, I made it. WE made it. And I can help your family make it too. I can help you utilize this time to ready your hearts and homes and try to feel just a little bit less anxious. And IF the unthinkable happens, and the birth family changes their mind, I'll be your shoulder to lean on and the friend to help you pick up the pieces and start fresh when you are ready.